words i couldn't bear to say

assalamualaikum.

a song by Lee Jang Woo.

whenever i listen to this song. i will remember you. what a stupid me. i love you. i miss you. 

Couldn't bear, don’t know how to say
Cannot sleep well, looking at you smiling with complicated feelings intertwined

When we first met with an awkward smile
That day seems to be yesterday, so vivid in my mind
Now we are going to say our last greetings, just like breaking up

I will say thank you instead of sorry
Eventhough my heart is full of regrets
I will treasure those warm memories in my heart
Taking them out often to remember you

Watery nose, choking throats, teary face, trying to fake a smile
Couldn't hold back the tears that are falling
I will smile instead of saying goodbye
Giving me who is lacking so much time to make up
I am not ready to let you go
Like a broken heart, heart wrenching, heartache

I will say thank you instead of sorry
Eventhough my heart is full of regrets
I will treasure those warm memories in my heart
Taking them out often to remember you

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done reading?thanks singgah.. enjoy! :)

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raya ? seems like not.

assalamualaikum.

today hari raya aidiladha kan? but why rasa macam hari hari biasa je? i cant feel anything different pun. oh yeah. maybe sebab manusia sorang ni kot.

hari raya people suppose to be having a good time with families. but manusia yang sorang ni. i dunno what is wrong with him. hes a weirdo. pepagi raya dah buat masalah. cari gaduh sana sini. tak cukup kasih sayang maybe.

apa masalah kau ni haa? apa yang kau tak puas hati sangat? aku ni baru je bukak mata bangun tido. dah kau bagi sakit hati. kalau hari biasa aku maybe tak ambik kesah sangat but today hari raya kot. agak agak la sikit pun kalau nak cari pasal.

dah lama aku hold sakit hati dengan kau ni. nasib pikir kau ni somehow blood related dengan aku. aku senyap je. even until now aku tahan je. tapi kau ni memang jenis tak reti plus tak paham bahasa. tak penah nak sedar perangai kau yang macam bodoh tu buat ramai orang sakit hati. 

yang paling aku tak boleh terima. even dengan mak aku pun kau nak kurang ajar. siap maen ugut ugut. apahal kau? otak kau letak kt tapak kaki ke? kau ingat kitaorang kesah? hello. tolong sedar. if bukan sebab si kecik tu. takdenya kitaorang nak kesah pasal kau. lantak kau la nak buat apa pun.

come on man. wake up. dah makin tua kot kau tu.. ntah ntah besok lusa mampus. jangan time tu baru kau nak sedar. jangan time tu baru nak terhegeh hegeh mintak maaf kat semua orang. jangan time tu la baru nak menangis menyesal. kalau sempat takpe. kalau tak sempat? jawab la kau sendiri.

p/s:: readers, im sorry and salam jumaat.

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done reading?thanks singgah.. enjoy! :)

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DearEX i need nothing from you.

morning.

when aku emotionally unstable even a single word like thanks can make me mad.. and yeah im mad right now.. can i curse at you? *babi diseru*

DearEX.. i know you know siapa yang aku maksudkan.. if you read this.. take a note.. bila aku cakap aku tak salahkan kau bila kau mintak break.. yeah i really really meant it.. but aku takde pun cakap kau boleh buat aku feel bad with your words..

DearEX.. come back to your sense.. kau dengan aku dah PUTUS! im the one who gave you the permission and you are the one who asked for it.. hidup mati kau apa kau buat memang aku takkan ambik tahu.. and i think kau pun macam tu.. then why kau perlu sent something stupid macam tu?

DearEX.. even if aku still sayang kau lagi.. dont worry i wont ask for any stupid getback whatsoever.. kau nak lupakan aku? go ahead.. my pleasure.. tapi perlu ke kau nak bgtau aku? nak sakitkan hati aku? yeah you made it.. CONGRATULATION!

DearEX.. if you already said you wanna forget me.. then kenapa perlu kau nak cakap jugak from someone yang tak pernah jemu sayangkan awak.. are you crazy? got problem with your head or maybe your brain? nak buat aku feel bad sebab kita PUTUS? again yeah you made it.. TAHNIAH!

DearEX.. kalau macam ni la situasinya.. aku tak boleh nak pegang janji aku.. aku block kau okay? kau suruh aku doakan kau supaya lupakan aku kan? okay.. aku doakan.. and dont worry.. i will disappear.. you wont be able to see me anywhere anymore.. tu yang kau nak sangat kan? okay then..

DearEX.. cukup cukup la buat aku rasa teruk.. aku tau kau memang baik.. kita putus pun sebab aku yang jahat kan? but enough la.. aku ada hati jugak.. sometimes you are just so idiot you know.. maybe bagi kau its nothing.. but for me.. yeah you hurt me.. thanks for that.. for sure i will remember it..

assalamualaikum.. bye

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done reading?thanks singgah.. enjoy! :)

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its time to say goodbye

assalamualaikum and morning korang. :)

5 years bukan sekejap.. 5 years ni macam macam jadi.. 5 years ni jugak banyak ubah aku kadang kadang jadi baik and kadang kadang jadi jahat.. 5 years bukan senang nak lupa..

banyak kenangan dalam masa 5 years ni.. banyak yang kita rancang.. banyak yang kita harapkan.. we put so much hope macam yes everything will go as we plan.. tapi kuasa Tuhan lagi hebat.. tak semua yang kita harapkan kita akan dapat.. 

kecewa? yes of course.. tipu kalau kata tak.. but aku terima dengan hati terbuka.. aku boleh faham.. sebab memang daripada awal silap aku.. salah aku sebab tak tahu menghargai.. so i wont regret it..

saya pernah sayang awak.. and insyaAllah saya akan tetap sayang awak.. thanks for this 5 years.. thanks sebab banyak bersabar dengan saya.. thanks sebab bertahan dengan saya.. and thanks for everything that you had done for me..

sorry sebab saya tak tepati janji saya.. sorry sebab saya selalu sakitkan hati awak.. and sorry for everything that i had done to you in this 5 years.. i dont deserve you.. because im not good enough.. 

lelaki baik untuk perempuan baik.. semoga oneday awak jumpa someone who really deserve you.. someone who can make you smile and someone who can make you happy..

jangan risau.. kita takkan jadi musuh.. im not that budak tak cukup yang you kenal dulu.. but still dont expect us to be friend.. i cant promise that.. insyaAllah saya akan lupakan awak.. 

life must go on.. goodbye. :)

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done reading?thanks singgah.. enjoy! :)

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